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One sad little girl

So how does it feel to be accepted into a graduate program at an Ivy League university? An institution older than this nation and responsible for educating several founding fathers, Presidents, and my personal literary heroes? Not quite the way it would have felt to be offered admission into my first choice. Thank you for this honor, but it is not an opportune opportunity for me. How could I ever earn enough money with the degree I would be granted in this program to pay for it? A month ago I would have gone through hell to be in New York by September, but now I just don't know if I'm up for it. My confidence has been shattered, my spirit broken, and myself lost. If I don't do this, who knows what next year will bring? No, I couldn't dream of getting into a better school, but I could hope to get into a program that promises its students more of a career path and some funding. At this price, I can't afford a recreational master's degree. It was fine for a back-up plan, but one I never expected to become my only option. What should I do? I'm running out of time, fast. Who decides to give you two weeks to decide all of this, anyway? I need advice from someone who knows what they're talking about.

Can I really spend a whole year at my current job? What can staying in Los Angeles offer me, what?

Will the prestige of the school outweigh the merit of the program? How many doors can this open for me?

I remain at least consoled by the thought that if I can get in here, I can get in almost anywhere. Right?

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August 2011
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